What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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