eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize