im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
