That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
