Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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