i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
