my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
