For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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