Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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