First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
