I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
