I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
