Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
