At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
