That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Damn victory sex feels great
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
