Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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