areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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