I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize