This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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