I swear she didn't look like that last week.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
