YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
