yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
