she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize