Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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