cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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