One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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