Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
