i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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