I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
