There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
