***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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