Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
