Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
