Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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