Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
