I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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