You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
