it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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