Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
