Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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