Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize