Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
