omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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