I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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