Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
