OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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