I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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