someone owes me an orgasm
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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