great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
