Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
