i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
