Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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