Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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