If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
