Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
