I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize