He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
