I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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