found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just had sex bonerless
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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