at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He had one of those small greek statue penises
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
